Wizardry: Batshit Jiggly Ballhs Insane

I often say that I'm a wizard. What that means -- to be bluntly honest -- is that I'm way beyond batshit crazy. Waaaay beyond. Like, out there. Buttnuggets insane, a few sandwiches short of a brick house and not the least flammable whatchacall it in that tool shed over there -- on Pluto -- the dog. (It's kinda tiny. Now you know.)

Well, I'm totally batshit by most people's standards. Fuck 'em. Their favorite band sucks. (And their mother's a total whore.)

Now, I'm about to tell you some serious motherfucking sheep shit so let's get on with it.

If you're not sitting down, go ahead and try it. It might help. Or not. People say it helps to brace themselves before receiving a significant shock -- but I've found it wise to ground thyself 'cause y'know -- electricity kills, sometimes. But enough about that. Sit down if you like. And on with the show.