"Along with the office door, I had felt another door opening to another dimension. I collasped onto an old couch, and shivered, wondering what might come screaming through that door into my orderly world. My dread was mixed with strange fascination that I couldn't fathom. I sat, breathing shallowly, trying to regain my previous hold on the ordinary world."
That doorway, where reality dissolved into dreams, cracked open again.
"So I'm a fool, huh?" I said, sounding even more belligerent than I'd intended.
"We're all fools together," he replied. "It's just that a few people know it; others don't. You seem to be one of the latter types..."
"The world's a puzzle; no need to make sense of out it."
"How do you know you haven't been asleep your whole life? How do you know you're not asleep right now?"
"The world out there," he said, waving his arm across the horizon, "is a school, Dan. Life is the only real teacher. It offers many experiences, and if experience alone brought wisdom and fulfillment, then elderly people would all be happy.
But the lessons of experience are hidden.... you've experienced much, but you've learned little...
..."Like most people, you've been taught to gather information from outside yourself; from books, magazines, experts. ...Like this car, you open up and let the facts pour in. Sometimes the information is premium and sometimes it's low octane... like this gas tank you are overflowing with preconceptions, full of useless knowledge. You hold many facts and opinions, yet know little of yourself. Before you can learn you'll have to first empty your tank." He grinned at me, winked and turning off the pump with a click, added,
"Clean up the mess, will you?"
...you haven't learned inner vision... your only recourse has been to read books and listen to experts and hope they are right.
..."You understand many things but have realized practically nothing."
"Understanding is one-dimensional. It is the comprehension of the intellect. It leads to knowledge, which you have. Realization, on the other hand, is three-dimensional. It is the simultanious comprehension of the 'whole body'---the head, heart, and physical instincts. It comes only from clear experience."
"Do you remember when you first learned to drive? Prior to that time, you'd been a passenger; you only understood what it was. But you realized what it was like when you did it for the first time."
"That's right" I said. "I remember feeling 'So that's what it's like!'"
"Exactly! That phrase describes the experience of realization perfectly. One day, you'll say the same thing about life."
"Where are you?"
"What do you mean, where am I?"
"Where are you?" he repeated softly.
"I'm here."
"Where is here?"
"In this office, in this gas station!" I was getting impatient with this game.
"Where is this gas station?"
"In Berkeley?"
"Where is Berkeley?"
"In California."
"Where is California?"
"In the United States."
... (some rounds of this later) ...
..."In the Universe..."
"And where," Socrates smiled, "is the Universe?"
"The Universe is, well, there are theories about how it's shaped...."
"That's not what I asked. Where is it?"
"I don't know--how can I answer that?"
"That is the point. You cannot answer it, and you never will. There is no knowing about it. You are ignorant of where the Universe is, and thus, where you are. In fact, you have no knowledge of where anything is; nor do you know what anything is or how it came to be. It's a mystery."
"My ignorance, Dan, is based on this understanding. Your understanding is based on ignorance. I am as a humorous fool, you are a serious jackass."
..."a secret's value is not in what you know, but what you do with what you know." ... "That's your problem--you know but don't act."
...He poked me in the ribs, and then poked again and again saying, "The warrior acts..."
"Damn it, stop that!" I yelled. "You're getting on my nerves!"
"...and the fool only reacts."
There was a beloved king whose castle was on a high hill, overlooking his shire. He was so popular that nearby townspeople sent him gifts daily, and his birthday celebration was enjoyed throughout the kingdom. The people loved him for his renowned wisdom and fair judgements.
One day, tragedy struck the town. The water supply was polluted, and every man, woman and child went insane. Only the king, who had a private spring, was spared.
Soon after the tragedy, the mad townspeople began speaking of how the king was acting "strangely" and how his judgements were poor and his wisdom a sham. Many even went so far as to say that the king had gone crazy. His popularity soon vanished. No longer did the people bring him gifts or celebrate his birthday.
The lonely king, high on the hill, had no company at all. One day he decided to leave the hill and pay a visit to the town. It was a warm day, and so he drank from the village fountain.
That night there was a great celebration. The people all rejoiced, for their beloved king had "regained his sanity.
"I am speaking to you from my own experience; I am not relating abstract theories I read in a book or heard second hand from an expert. I am one who truly knows his own body and mind, and therefore, knows others."
When I asked him why he was so interested in the details of my life, he said, "I need to understand your personal illusions to grasp the scope of your illness. We are going to have to clean your mind before the door to the warrior's way can open."
...we walked to Strawberry Creek and stood on a bridge, looking down at the stream overflowing with the winter rains.
"I wonder how deep the stream is today?" I casually remarked, gazing absent-mindedly down into the rushing waters. The next thing I knew, I'd splashed into the churning, muddy brown water. He had tossed me off the bridge!
"Well, how deep is it?"
"Deep enough," I sputtered, dragging myself and my waterlogged clothes to shore. So much for idle speculation...
...,"It is better for you to take responsibility for your life as it is, instead of blaming others, or circumstances, for your predicament. As your eyes open, you'll see that your state of health, happiness, and every circumstance of your life has been, in large part, arranged by you--consciously or unconsciously."
"I don't know what you mean, but I don't think I agree with it."
"Well, here's a story about a guy like you, Dan:
On a construction site in the Midwest, when the lunch whistle blew, all the workers would sit down together to eat. And with singular regularity Sam would open his lunch pail and start to complain.
"Son of a gun!" he'd cry, "not peanut butter and jelly sandwiches again. I hate peanut butter and jelly!"
Sam moaned about his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches day after day after day. Weeks passed, and the other workers were getting irritated by his behavior.
Finally, another man on the work crew said, "Fer cris sakes, Sam, if you hate peanut butter and jelly so much, why don't you just tell yer old lady to make you something different?"
"What do you mean, my old' lady?" Sam replied. "I'm not married. I make my own sandwiches."
..."When you become fully responsible for your life, you can become fully human; once you become human, you may discover what it means to be a warrior."
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